February 2012
When “Pokemon” was first released in Japan,...
me: hi i'd like to place an order
dominos: okay what can i get for you
me: uhm hold on, hey babe you wanted a large pepperoni right?
my empty apartment:
me: yeah we'll get a large pepperoni
6 tags
Elbows by Minnie Bruce Pratt
Cover your arms. Don’t let your elbows show. That’s what my neighbors down in Alabama tell their daughters so no elbow plump or thin tan or pink will entice others to passion. But if I thought my scrawny, two-toned elbows would lure you if I thought my skinny, sharp-boned elbows could secure you I’d flap my arms like a chicken like a pea-fowl like a guinea hen when next I saw...
neneleakesweave:
reblog if your tabs are always like this! <3
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
thatsmoderatelyraven:
meryl streep could be anyone around us right now
tiensions:
Stop trying to make The Hunger Games like Twilight with the whole “teams” bullshit.
amagwill:
I remember something that my 9th grade history teacher told me about rights. He said that a person’s right to swing his fist ends when it comes into contact with someone else’s nose. This was his way of saying that our rights end where another person’s rights begin. That example has stuck with me.
